Life Is Fragile

Recently a few things have happened that lead me to write this piece.  The most recent was something that occurred while I was headed to a meeting in Lexington on Saturday.  But I’ll get to that in a sec.  The others…first, a family I know managed to dodge a tragic bullet, if you will, when their two small boys (under 6 years old) both survived a dangerous accident on an ATV.  Thankfully, short of some scrapes, bruises, and mild concussions, everyone was okay within 24 hours and life resumed as usual.

Second, our third grade son’s teacher had her last day teaching for the year last Friday because unfortunately, she’s been diagnosed with cancer and has to have surgery and immediate treatment.  We are hopeful that they’ve caught it early in her case, and we wish her all the best as she goes forward now, but it really brought home to me how one day life is just rollin’ along, you have a routine doctor’s appointment, and boom, your world is turned upside down.  One month later, many appointments and consultations and new information to process and think about and decisions later, you’re not teaching anymore.  Your life has a new rhythm and routine and plan.  At least for the immediate future.

And then this past Saturday…so, I was on my way to Lexington for a meeting of a task force that I’ve been serving on and to get there one drives the Mountain Parkway to the North and West.  Now, this Parkway is the road that goes straight through the little town of Salyersville.  This is the town that made national news…you know, CNN, I’m talking, when the tornadoes hit some 6 weeks ago…you know, the group that practically destroyed the town of West Liberty here in KY, ruined the town in Indiana further West, destroyed areas of NC, wiped out more than 100 homes less than 10 miles North of our little town (and interestingly that’s received nearly no press), and included more than 100 recorded tornadoes in that set of storms…well, this was my first time seeing the damage.  I hadn’t been up through here until this past Saturday.  So, I’m driving through, and to give you an idea, Salyersville is a small town.  Small, as in this road is the main and only thoroughfare, on the left and right of which are about 4 gas stations, a Dairy Queen, an Arbys (I think), a McDonalds, a Chinese and a Mexican place, a private small motel and market, a bank or two, a few other businesses, a number of homes, some trailers, some pre-fabs, some older and more established, a few garages, perhaps storage buildings, too, and then a bit further down, the local elementary and middle schools.  It’s a really small community.  And remember, this is the heart of Appalachia, the “Mountain Parkway,” where the road turns and twists according to the curvature of the mountains, as a little narrow strip running down the middle of the narrow flat land with the mountains rising up on both the right and left, covered with towering trees.  In light of such terrain, tornadoes are rather rare, in fact, because the mountains make it tough for the swirling cyclone of wind to have enough room to maintain its power and strength.  But not on the occasion of these storms unfortunately.  In fact, I think I heard that Magoffin County had never had a recorded tornado until this time.  Never.  Oy! 

So, here I am, weeks later, driving through the town.  And I have to say, ironically, as I made my way through, I felt like the wind was knocked out of me.  Even this many weeks later.  It was a little eerie really.  There are 2 gas stations left open.  Three of the restaurants, at least, all closed for repairs.  The motel and market destroyed. Other businesses closed, possibly never to open again.  The Dairy Queen hopping with business because it was seemingly untouched.  Multiple houses and living quarters in various stages of repair and rebuilding so far.  Others haven’t been touched yet.  And the schools…re-opened weeks later but in much needed stages of repair, as well.  And that’s just the buildings.  I think what struck me the most was the state of the mountains.  All those towering trees, literally blown to the ground.  Laying this way and that, like bowling pins knocked down by the best bowlers rolling strike after strike after strike in the tournament of their life.  As if the wind of the tornado uprooted those trees at its merry whim in its powerful sound and fury, paying no heed to the cost it was leveling upon this place and the people of Salyersville.  It was pretty awful.  Again, I felt like the wind was knocked out of me…a bit sick to my stomach.  And yes, I nearly cried.  (Not so surprising since I cry at commercials, but still…)  All of this is to say, this event, combined with the others earlier in the week, made me start thinking about life and how incredibly fragile it is.

Life is fragile.  One minute things are going along, we feel like we know what’s up, a routine seems established, we’re seemingly “in control” and boom – we’re not.  The reality that life is fragile and things can suddenly occur that upset our balance, that make us think about how uncertain and unpredictable and how we just simply cannot know and do not know how things are going to be or turn out is before us.  And that got me thinking  about how we ought to be living.  Because life is fragile, here are some things that we probably ought to do:

• Hug the ones you love.  Your children, your partner in this life, your parents, your friends…hug them. 
• Say “I love you.” 
• Say “I’m sorry.” 
• Talk about that thing that’s eating you up inside.  Because if you don’t, if you let it make you resentful and crazy and upset and eat at you and make you madder and madder and madder, and then something happens…you may never have the chance.
• Do something you’re afraid of, or that you’re uncertain about, or that you’ve always wanted to and have held back on.  Do it.  Because you may not have another chance.  You know, carpe something.  I say it that way following Glennon Melton….Do you know her?  She’s the author of that blog, “Momastery” that went viral in January when her piece, “Carpe 15 Minutes” (I think it was called) was featured on Huffington Post.  She wrote about how being a parent of small children she can barely carpe 15 minutes, let alone “diem” and that we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves to seize the day…and I think she’s right, of course.  As a working Mom outside the house, and three young children, and a husband and dog, etc etc, I get it.  But I still think we have to seize hold of a few minutes, or try to each week…it doesn’t have to be big like flying to Hawaii, or Vegas, or solving the world’s hunger problem, or running ½ a marathon (good Lord, whose got the money, time, resources, ambition, or enough energy for any of those in a week?!!), but choose to do small things that make your soul soar.  I think if we do that, then we’re feeding ourselves, we’re remembering that life is fragile, and that will fuel us and serve us in the most positive of ways. 

I’m sure there are many other things, too.  Basically, it comes down to this.  Recognize that this life, this earthly existence we have, it’s the only one we get.  Whatever you believe or don’t about what comes next, what comes after we die and are no longer on the earth in this way that we are bodily, this is the only one we get this way.  Another way I’ve heard it put – life is not a dress rehearsal.  This is our opportunity.  It doesn’t mean we can’t re-invent ourselves, change, do things one way for a while, then shift and change, and transcend, and transform…of course we can and do.  If we don’t, then we aren’t really living, because life is not static and two-dimensional, certainly.  Change is indeed the one constant in life (somebody famous has surely said that, maybe many somebodies!).  But the thing is that whatever those changes and transformations, they all occur in this one single life on earth.  It’s our time.  So, live it.  Emile Zola said, “If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud.” I love that.  Many of you can attest that I literally embrace such a mantra – “I came to live out loud.”  Literally.  That’s what we need to do.  Live out loud.  Which means recognize your value.  You matter.  Love yourself.  Know that.  Know it and live accordingly.  If you, we all, do that, then I think we in fact remember that life is fragile and we take it seriously enough to enjoy and embrace it.  We are empowered to live accordingly. 

Now, I should say, that having just written we should take it seriously, we should be careful to maintain a balance about that…don’t want to be so serious, in particular about ourselves, that we devolve into self-absorption and self-centered living that is narcissism.  Why not?  Because narcissism in any form is bad!  This is a topic for the next post, I believe! 

So, for now, inspired by some recent events, I’m inclined to share the reflection that life is fragile. That we cannot know what might happen next, and because we can’t, embrace all that life is and might be and what is important about it – our most beloved relationships, the things that make us soar and sing and make us joyful beyond measure!  That is the word for this day.  For indeed, life is NOT a dress rehearsal.

I’m goin’ go hug my loves.  May you and yours be blessed today, tomorrow, and for always!