Wabi Sabi is not actually a mantra. It is a Japanese aesthetic that means
Nothing lasts, nothing's finished, nothing's perfect. Sure sounds like a good mantra, or motto, to me. Before getting too far, I need to acknowledge some folks here...
My good friend, Denise, provided my initial introduction to wabi sabi, through her new and wonderful blog. Turns out there's a movement in design called "wabi sabi" at the moment. And to my friend and colleague, James, I owe thanks because he knows so much about so many things, especially those related to things Eastern and philosophical (somewhat in this case).
So, once turned onto the term and its meaning, I realized that this is my mantra, or motto, or it sure ought to be because it epitomizes my life. Nothing lasts, nothing's finished, nothing's perfect. Since hearing it, I can't stop applying it to my life. And my knowledge of it happened to coincide with my recent thinking that writing a blog might be fun. I'm not sure I'm convinced of that, as I sit here writing my first blog post, having deleted my first two attempts at creating a blog (so far), but hey, even if it's only the one post I ever write, that fits, too, right...nothing lasts...wabi sabi. But here's to hoping I might get the hang of it and like it.
Anyhow, more seriously, this view of life really has come front and center for me lately. We recently learned that two of our good, good friends, who have been married longer than we (I am married and happily celebrated 10 years last week!), are divorcing. Indeed, even when we hope beyond hope and dream beyond dream that marriage and all that it might be will last, sometimes it just doesn't. And don't get me wrong, I get it. Unhealthy and difficult relationships, in my opinion, should not be made to last just because that's what tradition or custom or culture says. I know this one personally, in fact. So, I'm simply and seriously saying, sometimes nothing lasts. Wabi sabi. And I'd go further, too, to say that even those things that do last, that we celebrate and champion because of their deep and abiding endurance, they don't really, in the sense of staying the same all the time that they do, in fact, "last." Here's a beautiful and quintessential example: A couple I know recently celebrated 70 years of marriage. 70. Now, that is lasting. Unbelievable really. But here's the thing...while that couple has managed to last together all those years, the way it started when they said they're "I do," is certainly NOT what it was then. It can't be. It has to change and grow and develop because that is the nature of life. Everything does not remain static and unchanging forever. It won't last if it does. So, in a sense, that lasting relationship in fact has only lasted because it's gone through change.
And as to the other elements of wabi sabi...well, the notion that nothing's finished...that is my day-to-day, practical life in a nutshell: the laundry's never finished, the moving-into-the-house that we actually took possession of more than 6 weeks ago isn't finished, the preparing for classes is never finished, organizing the bizillion Legos in our house cannot possible ever be finished-that would indicate the end of the world, etc. etc. You get the picture. Such is the nature of a household of 5, 2 full-time working parents, and 3 beautiful, precocious, funny, intelligent, busy, children and the family dog (a new addition, in fact).
And finally, nothing's perfect...well, everything written above ought to say it all. I'm wrong about 800 times a day, though as I told my students, I tell my husband all the time, "I know everything, and I am always right." What a joke indeed! So, there it is, wabi sabi. The mantra that I think if I just embrace and accept happily will have me enjoying life all the more.
I'm not exactly sure what will be recorded in this blog...reflections/confessions ?! of living as a teacher, mother, and wife, who seeks to be an engaged citizen in her world, as well, without too much cynicism and plenty of joy and laughter. Here's to hoping. And I hope that you might just sit in to hear those thoughts, every now and again anyhow. After all, nothing lasts, nothing's finished, nothing's perfect. Wabi Sabi.
