U.S. T.V. "News" - A Study in Entertainment

Last Monday morning (a week ago), I happened to do something I almost never do...I turned on the T.V. after the kids had left for school and before I had to get myself ready for work.  I was just flipping around, but I thought I'd try to find some coverage on the situation in Kenya (terrorist attack by extremist group at an upscale mall that had started on Sat.) and at least some report on the church in Pakistan that had been bombed on Sunday.  I spent 20 minutes changing channels from the major networks and cable news outlets - ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, CNN, MSNBC - and in that time not one of them covered either story.  Shoot, forget covering it, none of them even mentioned them!  In that 20 minutes, the ONLY news story discussed on any of them (and it was on just one) was the terrible flooding in Colorado.  The "news" in the time I was watching...

·       Oprah’s admission of a near nervous breakdown

·       Cher was coming up on the show in just under an hour

·       Baby pictures of the staff on the Today Show displayed on the screen for us - the audience to view

·       A recap of the Emmy Awards coverage and how funny bits of it was

·       How hackers only needed two days to figure out how to hack the new iPhone 5c

Where has all the good news gone?  The real news??  What do these supposed journalists really think of what they're being asked to broadcast?  Maybe they like it...I don't know.  I can't imagine that a highly educated journalist, one who spent years learning how to hone their interviewing skills, how to get the scoop, what dealing with difficult personalities and persons with power would be like, can like the fact that they've been reduced to mere purveyors of entertainment, fluff-piece, sound-bite nuggets that don't connect with the reality of world events that are occurring everyday around the globe, and yes, right here in our communities, too.  For example, I'm astounded that as a nation in the time President Obama has been in office 5, count 'em, 5!!, mass shootings have occurred in our country, and yet, our news outlets can't be bothered to discuss issues connected to such even for a few days let alone months afterward.  We wouldn't want our news outlets to lend credence to the idea that gun control and the lack thereof might be a problem, I guess.  But I don't mean to bring a controversial topic into this blog bit ...I just use it as an example of how far from real news we have gotten.  Instead, what we see are stories that seem so trivial and superficial, while real newsworthy events are actually happening in various parts of the world, but they aren't on our radar.  The owners and producers of our news outlets - the ones who control programming - do not see it in their interest (that is, good for the bottom line!) to air these admittedly gritty, difficult, and all too real stories. 

I do wonder how others must view us as a nation, when they go to watch our "morning news" shows.  What message does that send?  I can tell you, I won't be watching, just flippin' around before getting ready for work, again anytime soon.

I close with two things...years ago, Walter Cronkite was the most trusted man in the country (based on a survey of the American people). Certainly don't hear that about any of the current news women or men these days - and why would we?  They're seemingly entertainment figures more than anything else, peddling puff and cream far more than real news of consequence and substance for the world.  It's embarrassing.  Finally, it's pretty telling when a household's main source of T.V. news is "The Daily Show" right?! 

That's what I'm thinkin' about today, this week later, as life spins around the schoolyard...hope to be back, really back to blog more regularly.  No promises. (Tried holding myself to that as being resolved....hasn't worked, but I'm not giving up.  Come back soon - hopefully I will have written again.)

'Til then...May your days be filled with laughter for it buoys the soul - and who doesn't need that!

The Problem with Angelina Jolie's Op-Ed

Okay, so before you start throwing your daggers, the truth is there is nothing wrong with Angelina Jolie's op-ed piece or her news.  I only entitled this piece the way I did in the hope that it might prompt some readership.  Shameless, yes, but perhaps effective.  And if not, well, oh well.  I tried.  Why am I okay with being shameless in this way? Because I think this issue is THIS important.  What exactly am I talking about?  Well, I'll get there.  Give me a second.  I need to say a few things first...

First, there is actually no problem with Ms. Jolie's op-ed at all.  In and of itself, that is.  First, Ms. Jolie's 

op-ed is lovely.  She's a decent writer.  Direct and to-the-point.  And as to its content - well, she's brave, courageous, and poignant even.  She chose to share something personal and intimate that frankly, is her own private family news.  And she chose to share it with the world because she thinks it can make a difference for many, many, many, perhaps tens of thousands of people - women and men - together, and that should be applauded.  So, hats off to Ms. Jolie.  She recognizes that breast and ovarian cancers are insidious, and they affect thousands upon thousands of folks, and they affect many, many through genetics, and there are tests that can be done and then preventive treatments/surgeries that are options if people would like/choose that lessen chances...all of those things are made known through the op-ed she wrote about her own decisions and story.  So, again, hats off to her.  If she touched one person, if she informed one person, then her op-ed has done good.  And doing good is what we all ought to shoot for in this life.

But here's the thing...what her piece also reveals is the "elephant in the room" (if you will) about healthcare in our great nation...that it is an issue of entitlement based on economy and "having versus not having"....the stark reality about healthcare that our political leaders, all of Congress and the administration, simply do not want to acknowledge and talk about, that they skirted over and over and over again as the healthcare reform was passed, that pharmaceutical companies and insurance corporations and lobbies deny and ignore repeatedly and follow as "modus operandi" because it cuts against the "bottom line" (profits profits profits!!!).  Now, I'm not trying to get into a political debate, and I know emotions run high regarding this matter generally, so to stick to the subject specifically, Ms. Jolie said that the tests to show if someone has the gene that will likely lead to breast cancer costs $3000.  And insurance does NOT cover it.  Now, Ms. Jolie has the luxury of spending that $3000.  I'm pretty sure she wouldn't deny that.  In fact she doesn't deny it in the piece.  And she says that she hopes in the future more and more folks will have the opportunity to have the tests.  But what do you think the odds of that are?  What are the chances that insurance companies are going to allow such charges at 100% coverage?  Really?  And where exactly are middle-class folks, let alone lower-class folks, going to find a spare $3000 for tests just to see if they have the gene?  And that's just to see if they have it?  Forget choosing the surgeries/treatments, which would be "elective" and therefore, also NOT covered.  

And that's the problem I'm pointing out...we've become a nation where healthcare is a commodity.  It's not a "right" fundamentally.  And while in a crisis situation, healthcare is dispensed (hospitals can't turn someone away - that is true); the fact remains that in the situation Ms. Jolie describes, only folks in a position of "privilege" (i.e., with money and means) need line up, because for anyone else, what she describes is only a pipe dream.  And surely, as so many want to invoke our founders, that is not what they envisioned, is it?  I mean, really?  Is it?  If I'm honest, I can't really say (none of us truly knows what Mr. Washington or Mr. Adams or any of them would do or say or think!).  But I do wonder.  Did Mr. Jefferson really mean when he wrote that people had the right to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" that only those with means should be able to trust reasonable access to healthcare? I don't think so, but maybe I am wrong.  

Okay, so perhaps my thoughts today are my form of a blog rant.  I don't know.  It's just what I was thinking after I read Ms. Jolie's op-ed the other day.  I do applaud her.  I'm impressed with her choices.  I'm impressed that she'd share it with the world.  I'm impressed with her writing prowess.  She's a public figure who young women and girls especially can look up to, I think.  Not knowing her personally it's hard to say for certain, but at least these things suggest a positive image, so kudos, Ms. Jolie.  But at the same time, her op-ed exposes quite plainly the travesty of healthcare as a nationwide issue and how our nation's leaders have not done enough, have allowed the insurance industry (and it is an industry!!) to rule the day, to hijack healthcare based on the bottom line and profits and lining the pockets of CEO's, rather than being guided by medical innovation, science, and health decisions, is well, deplorable and ought to be criminal.  

I'll end with this...recently, my husband and I watched the film, "Lincoln" with Daniel Day-Lewis and Tommy Lee Jones. So good. It was fascinating to watch the debates in the House, depicting what surely was close to historical debates.  We were talking later about how the rhetoric was so charged and how courageous some of those men really were.  How hate-filled some of the speech was to our ears, and how then some of that was really what people said and thought and felt.  But how prophetic some of them were, to speak against slavery and to feel so differently from the ideas of the times, especially in the South.  It was interesting.  And both of us were struck, thinking aloud that it sure would be nice if we had some folks it Congress today who were that courageous because lately, it sure seems like we don't.  We need some political leaders who are courageous like some of them.  On healthcare.  On background checks for guns.  On civil liberties.  On a whole bunch of stuff.  Folks who can see the truth and aren't afraid to speak it and act on it.  In this particular case, who won't be afraid to say that insurance companies should not dictate healthcare policy.  Perhaps Ms. Jolie can assert some influence.  I don't know about that.  But perhaps.  Sure would be nice if someone could.

Just Keep Writing, Just Keep Writing...

Okay, so this [title] is going to be my new mantra.  Remember when I started this blog it was
"Wabi Sabi":
nothing's perfect.
nothing lasts.
nothing's finished.

That still applies for sure.  Pretty much every day, even every hour of every day, in my life.  And I'm pretty good with that.  Maybe that comes with middle age...it's actually quite freeing to live with that philosophy of sorts grounding all that goes on in the routine of everyday life.

Anyhow, a year and half later, only a few blog posts for the New Year, after my declared Resolution to write more and more often...I'm going with this now: "Just Keep Writing, Just Keep Writing..."
It's fun to say if you use a "Dory" voice like Ellen did in "Nemo" (that version was "just keep swimming").
Here's what I'm learning more and more...writing is hard.  It's really that simple.  It's hard.  But to get better at it, you have to do it.  Even if what you write initially is total crap.  Even if you have to edit and edit and edit and edit and edit (...you get the idea).  Someone famous said, if you ask me to write something and give me a week, it'll be 4 pages.  Give me another week, it'll be 2.  Another week, 1.  Another week, 2 solid, tightly-constructed paragraphs.  (I really think someone famous said this or something very much like it...if they didn't, someone should because it is soooo true!)  That's the nature of writing.  So if I'm going to try to write.  And write better.  And more.  And then even better.  Etc.  I have to just write.  Right?!  So, this blog ought to be a way to do that.  But what I think I'm coming around to realize is that in addition to writing being hard, just as simple as that is, it's even more so because those who do it, or try it, have to deal with that space between the ears that screams doubts and guffaws and ridicule over and over again.  That's what keeps one from writing.  That it isn't good enough, clever enough, smart enough, witty enough, relevant enough...and on and on.  And when you're stuck in and with all of that, you just stop.  Stop writing.  And then you're back where you started.  Can't make something better if there's nothing to critique...it's a vicious circle of the worst and most pernicious kind.
So, here I go again, acknowledging that writing is hard.  Nothing super revelatory about that.  But also re-committing to the plan to write.  And I'm going to goad myself forward with "just keep writing, just keep writing!"  Hope you'll come along for the ride!

I should say, this is part of what's interesting about this writing thing too...it's not that I haven't had some things to say.  I started a piece back when all the news broke about Lance Armstrong and the Notre Dame football player (Manti Te'o...not even sure I'm spelling that right now) and abandoned it.  Another about some personal news and what it is to have your life's balance knocked askew...Another about gun control (probably better I let that go!!)...why didn't they make it in this little corner of the blogosphere?  I think because I didn't think any of them were good, or fully coherent, or ever, ever finished.  And by the time I'd gone back several times on each, the issues seemed past...maybe that was more of that space between my ears holding me back...

So, I'm resolved to write more.  More and more regularly.  Here's to hoping!  And who knows, maybe I'll take up those lapsed topics just as much as newer ones.  Regardless of what might find its way here, I'm re-resolved.  (Can you be re-resolved?!)  We'll see...

Until next time (hopefully sooner than later), Blessings and Light ~

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

Earlier this week I ate lunch with two students in the cafeteria. One is a former student twice-over and one is a current.  They're nice kids.  (I should say nice young people!). Anyhow, the one is a kid whose whole life until now has been baseball.  Growing up, in high school, and into college, it always came first and was most important.  But now he's looking at graduation soon and trying to figure out the best plan to complete his major...he decided to sit out this season in the event he decides to transfer and would still have eligibility.  He said near the end of the conversation something like 'the mature thing to do would be to just give up baseball, let it go...'  My response was something like 'well, perhaps.  But maybe not.'

I've been thinking about it since.  Years ago I might have given no thought to this being a choice.  I can see myself saying then, "well, yes, it's time to move forward. Be the grown-up now...". But now that I've lived a bit more (the nice way to say that I'm getting old!), I'm not so sure. I mean, if college is to mark the end of his competitive sports life, and its something he loves, it's no small decision to give it up. It occurs to me, now at this point in my life, that having something I love to do and that makes sense as part of my life isn't something I'd want to let go lightly.  Plus, what's the harm in sticking with it if the whole rest of my life I won't have it.  It's just another year or 2 in comparison to what certainly one hopes will be many more decades of experiences.

Perhaps with age has come the recognition that holding on to those things that bring our lives great joy and fuel our deepest passions and interests are the most significant. For without them what kind of life is it really?  So, I say consider such decisions with care and reflection, taking seriously whatever it is that makes you soar.

I'll close with this...whatever decision this former student of mine makes likely won't be easy.  Indeed there are costs for whatever big life choices we make.  But I wish him well, acknowleding that sometimes, maybe all the time, it's things like this that make folks say, growing up is hard to do.  I just hope that however things go, for him and us all in the midst of such moments, we remember where we find joy and seek to embrace and follow that.
Til next time...

Hobbit-inspired Wisdom: What I Shall Try to Implement This New Year!

So, it's the New Year. And I've made a real resolution, as I said in my first post of the year, which happened to be my first post in 8 months, give or take.  I am resolved to blog more regularly.  I didn't ever really intend to stop; it just happened...you know, life and living it with three children and husband and community and ballet and soccer and church and classes and summer vacations, etc. etc.  But that's always (yes, I said "always" – see an early post from last year) going to be the case, right!  So, I am resolved.  And what better way to begin following the initial post honoring my father-in-law than to talk about the New Year.

2013.  While I don't usually make resolutions, I do find myself each year thinking about the 12 months that has passed, remembering moments that stick out more than others often because they were particularly joyous or sorrowful, as well as those that touched our collective conscious as a society, culture, people, and world, also often because they gave us some things to champion and celebrate or those at which to rage or weep.  There were many this year both personally and publicly.

We mourn the loss of Middy, our first parent to bid goodbye.  And this fall, my Uncle John, a prince among men, another individual who lived a purposeful, humble life, and one to whom countless other lives may be credited as better for having known him. We celebrated the addition of our dog (black lab, some 60-70 lb.s) to the family, rescued from the pound after surviving a house fire that took his family.  Our beloved Dobby is now as much part of the clan as the rest of us; named for Dobby, the elf, of Harry Potter magic, he's proved as impish at times and definitely a source of more joy in our everyday lives. Our children's birthdays all brought fun and laughter, of course, and multiple exclamations of, "How can they possibly be this old now?!"  We experienced a number of "firsts": piano recital for the oldest, Kindergarten for the youngest! (so they're all in school now!), "Nutcracker" ballet on the city's theater stage, cub scouts for our middle, team soccer, diving-board dives and flips, and many other great activities together that help us recognize all of our blessings.

And more publicly, the Olympics to watch in wonder and cheer...to see athletes and nations stand united for moments, making us believe if only for a bit we might just be able to solve big problems and make dreams come true...even for the most vulnerable, to right wrongs, to give peace a chance....but as much as that was part of 2012, so too was a political season that seemed to never end.  One of great rancor and division...one where I wonder often how our children could ever look to any political leaders as role models in the atmosphere in which they work and operate these days.  It's embarrassing.  And don't get me wrong; I'm responsible, too.  We all are.  As citizens, I think we all share in the reality we find ourselves in, a reality where the highest court in the land declares companies as people, and two parties spend $$$$$$$$$$$ just to get elected while children go hungry, are refused healthcare, and places generally thought safe become tragic reminders of how far afield we've taken the 2nd amendment and then some. 

And so we celebrated and mourned, championed and raged.  And ended the year focused on Christmas, its meaning, and how to carry that forward into this New Year.  Which brings me to now, the first weeks into January, and some truths already laid-bare:

·      The S.E.C. remains dominant, but they also seem to get the good end of the calls, too, don't they?!

·      The Redskins had an amazing season with RGIII, but now, they return home with a shaky future and waiting to see what comes next...the way lots of seasons have ended.

·      Congress is back for more...the "cliff" but delayed.  Observation: it's time for someone to show some leadership qualities!

And finally, this - and the title of the post...In thinking of this new year, perhaps because of the magnitude of the tragedy at Sandy Hook and the destruction of the earlier Sandy Storm, as well as my personal "middle-age" reality, I have been thinking lots about what matters in this life.  I mean, what really matters....and ya know, J.R.R. Tolkien is plain but eloquent, if you ask me.  And it's especially appropriate now, of course, with the release of the first installment of the 3-film epic, Peter Jackson style, of the story that I loved as a 7th grader so many years ago and just recently got to experience the joy of sharing with our oldest.  While watching, we were enthralled, and afterward, our word to each other was AWESOME.  Such fun...in his literary classic, The Hobbit, Tolkien writes:

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

The dwarf character Thorin speaks of Bilbo, the hobbit, there, and generally all hobbits, for they are those who do value food and good cheer, song and drink, fellowship among friends, much more than gold and riches and success as others measured it (and others in our world, certainly, are guilty of such measuring, too, right!).  There’s some wisdom in such words.  And I’m inclined to recognize that and even be guided by it more now in the days of this year and beyond.  That paying attention to what really matters in this life is our relationships with others, moments with cheer and joy (and sometimes moments of support when things are difficult, too), all of them offering so much more than what we attain. 

Let’s put that above all else, for if we do, I suspect we will find ourselves and our lives that much, much more abundant and full.

That’s how I’m going forward.  And now, I’m really going forward, meaning signing-off, for there are four syllabi to complete, resources to pull together, and much to prepare for classes begin on Monday.  It’s going to be a busy semester of two new courses and two surveys…more on that in the next “Donna’schalktalks”…thanks for reading.

Til next time, may you enjoy much good food and good cheer!

A Purpose-Driven Life...

A Tribute to Henry Middleton "Middy" Raynal

It's been 8 months since I last wrote a post for this blog. Chalk it up (pardon the pun) to a busy summer with kids at home, an overload this fall semester teaching, generally too much juggling and not taking enough moments for simply breathing...but I've been wanting to get back to it. And doesn’t the turn of the New Year offer the best time to do so?  What’s my New Year Resolution?  I don’t usually make them because I can’t ever come up with anything I’m serious about nor that I think I have a chance in heaven of keeping, but this one I actually really want to be resolved toward...at least I’ll give it a go.  So, I am resolved to blog far more regularly.  We’ll see how it goes.

So, to start, the rest of the story for the hiatus is that I knew I wanted to write about my father-in-law.  Or more specifically in honor/tribute to him.  See, he died in May.  87 years wise, he left this earthly life the way most envy – going to bed for the night and not awaking in the morn.  I have wanted to speak of him and his life because while I did not know him long really, not in the scheme of the universe anyway, his impact has been deep and for that I am grateful.

It took me awhile to figure out how to say it...what words exactly would convey what I mean to impart, but then I realized I was goin’ have to borrow a phrase, specifically, the "purpose-driven life."  There's the nod to Rick Warren, which most of you who know me recognize is kind of funny, perhaps even ironic, because he and all that is usually connected, or associated, with him is not really my cup of tea, but the phrase works.  See, above all else, my father-in-law, Middy, lived a truly purpose-driven life!

He was one of four children, a preacher's kid, and he, too, went into the family business – carrying forth the next generation (6th in fact!) of Presbyterian ministering.  Yes, I said 6^th generation!  He pursued this vocation following his undergraduate education at Davidson College with seminary at Union in Richmond, Virginia.  He then went on to pastor in small to mid-size churches for the better part of 50 years. 

By the time I met Middy, he was enjoying well-deserved retirement, but I learned much from him, including these few things that I share now in his honor:

• Sometimes presence without words speaks volumes more than words ever could.

•  Being guided and led by one’s sense of vocation – what one truly believes she/he is called to be doing in this life and world – offers greater blessing than any amount of money or materials ever could.  That’s the “purpose-driven” part.  Middy got that.  And not in some ego-driven way.  I don’t mean that.  Middy wasn’t a man with a Messiah-complex, or some sense that ‘Oh, if I pastor this church, preach these great sermons, all will follow and my church will be the best church, etc. etc.’  NO!  Middy was far more humble and full of humility than that.  He never referred to the church as “his” because he fully understand it as God’s church.  Not only did he get being called, he was clear that he was called as God’s servant to further God’s purposes. 

• Recognizing the gift of family/friends/loved ones is the key to happiness and all the blessings that follow in one’s life.  Without them first, the rest does not follow.  I think he got this in a fierce way, ya know.  And if there’s something to be fierce about, it’s the bonds we have with our loved ones and holding tight to them.  I saw that in Middy. 

• Standing up for justice is not easy or comfortable or without sacrifice.  It is still the thing to do.  Middy did.  With Florence and their family, I have heard the stories from the days of the Civil Rights movement in rural North Carolina, as well as the period when Middy worked with alcoholics and in mental health advocacy.  Standing up for what was just is part of his legacy to all of us and all who knew him.  

• “Love you good” was his phrase of endearment when saying goodbye.  It’s a great phrase!

There are more things I could say, I know.  But without going on and on, I just wanted to express how much it means to me to have known Middy, to have had such an opportunity, for knowing someone who really knew his purpose in this world, believed it as God intended it to be, and then embraced it with joy, vitality, grace, intelligence, generosity of spirit, and steadfast faith has been and remains a priceless gift in my life.  So, thank you, Middy!  If that place and space of eternal Peace is your idea of perfection, I’m sure you have endless pipe tobacco, a nip of the best scotch, countless editions of the Washington Post, a glimpse of the season the Redskins have had (and are still having – go RGIII), and plenty of wonderful conversation with those who went before you.  Love you good.  Love you always.

 ~ Your Grateful Daughter-in-Law, Donna